The plot thickens

The plot thickens….

So some of you read my last post about calling the lady selling wraps to tone your body. Well, it seems she went home and told her hubby what I did. My phone rings this morning on the way in. Below is our exchange documented to the best of my ability. Admittedly I was laughing my ass off by the end and might have a few details crossed here. On a related note, if I continue these antics getting a second phone number might be a solid plan.

Phone rings at 9:17 am, a local number that I don’t recognize. Answer or don’t answer? As I ponder I begin to question myself; does somebody owe me money? I’d sure hate to pass that up. What the hell, I’ll take the call.

Me: Good morning this is Dave

Caller: Uh…yeah, is this the guy that was making jokes with my wife?

Me: (more than a bit puzzled) Sir could you elaborate please? I make jokes at the expense of everybody not just demographic of those who are married and pee sitting down.

Caller: (I hear him chuckle) Did you call my wife on Friday and make fun or her wrap business?

Me: (shit…it’s all coming together now) Well, sir I suspect given that type of business many people make fun of it, but yes I did engage in a verbal phone exchange with her surrounding the efficacy of her wraps.

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Did you really tell her you were a 600lb man?

Me: Well 684 to be exact but yes I did.

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: I thought she was full of shit….boy was she pissed at you!

Me: Well, I seem to have that effect on many.

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: So why did you decide to call my wife and mess with her like that?

Me: I have a long commute to work and I was bored

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: So you just made that load of shit up on the fly?

Me: Yes, I did. It’s a life skill, just wish I could make a sustainable income doing it

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Well, while it seems you got your kicks please don’t call my wife again. I got home Firday night and got an earful from her. She wanted me to hunt you down and beat your ass, but this is just too funny.

Me: Sir, I’m terribly sorry that my actions might have resulted in your wife shutting down your fun factory for the weekend.

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Huh?

Me: Nevermind

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Ok, just don’t call her again, I’m not really ok with random people just calling my wife.

Me: While I certainly understand your point the fact that she’s got a sign on the back of her SUV displaying her phone number to the whole world does somewhat enable and encourage random calls don’t you think?

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Well, yes, but this is her business and she’s serious about it

Me: I couldn’t agree more! I wish you could have heard the eagerness in her voice when she thought I was interested. I’ve never seen a person put down a McMuffin so fast.

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Hold the hell on what?? How did you know she was eating a McMuffin?

Me: I was right beside her on the highway

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Son of a @#$#@ now I’m pissed. Do you know for 3 years she’s been trying to tell me how hard she’s been working to lose weight. I see her every morning get up and put on this big act about how she’s eating sliced apples and green tea for breakfast. I guess she waits until I leave for the day to eat her crap, no wonder her fat @ss hasn’t lost any weight.

Me: Well sir, it seems you’ve got your work cut out for you…you have a nice day!

Hubby of McMuffin Wrap Lady: Yes, I do….goodbye!