Yesterday I arrive at the airport in Orlando to fly home to
Kansas City. Like many I always make it a point to use the bathroom in the
airport before boarding the plane in hopes of avoiding having to use the
super-tiny crapper in flight. I’m the first to admit this is a challenge to
all, but when you’re as tall as I am you can't even stand up straight it is awful. I give
equal pity to the woman who actually have to sit on that god forsaken pile of
disgust.
Anywho, I head into the airport bathroom in lovely Orlando.
Much to my surprise there is a line in the men’s room. I’m not talking 2 or 3
deep I’m talking we’re at a football game that just went to halftime and every dude
in the place runs for beer and pee time sized lines. Naturally obligatory guy small
talk starts up. Most of it geared around how much money we all just dropped to
pay homage to the mouse of Florida. Finally, I said, “Wow…I’m really surprised
we’re having to wait just to pee?” The guy in front of me agrees. Time to make
my move. I fire back with, “I mean really this is a big let down for me. This
is my first time in a public men’s room since my gender re-assignment surgery.
My therapist and I have been talking about this day for weeks and he told me
how liberating it would be to finally have the confidence to use a public restroom
post-op AND not have to wait like I always did as a woman.”
Two things instantly happened, 1. 4 guys decided they were
no longer going to use that restroom and they left faster than a baby-daddy
when the child support was due, 2. You could have heard a pin drop in that
bathroom. The guy I was talking to in front of me turned around and acted like
I was not there. As luck would have it two urinals right next to each other
opened up and I ended up right next to him. I looked over and said, “Are we
supposed to talk about sports while we do this? Or do we talk about boobs or
something?” No answer from him. So then I ask, “How does this stack up against
other men’s rooms? Are others nicer? Are all airport bathrooms the same?” I’m
pretty sure he didn’t even finish going and all of a sudden he’s running from
the bathroom and doesn’t even wash his hands. I had hoped he would end up on
the same flight as me so I could continue to torment him, but no luck.
Oh well, until next time Florida!
