So this week I got asked sit in on a panel discussion put on by the White House about Job Training, specifically in the technical space. I was captured on camera, most likely because they sat my ass way in the back with the media so the important people could sit up front.
I think I'll go ahead and use this 'debut' to announce my candidacy for office. Not for this year, it's too late, and I don't meet the age requirement to be president yet. But watch out 2016!! Now, I'm sure right now you'll all wondering; will he run on the democrat or republican ticket?? Well, the answer is neither...I will be running on the AA ticket...that's right, Absolutely Awesome!
With that in mind I'd like to share a few items on my political agenda:
- Meatloaf will become a banned substance, STOP BAKING HAMBURGER
- Telemarketing (of any sort) will be a felony
- All employers will recognize "Nap Time"
- Zuckerburg WILL add the following buttons to Facebook: WTF, Dumb-Ass, Don't Care!
- Price controls for alcohol at sporting events, It should not cost Americans $400 to get hammered at a baseball game.
- Removal of all FBI warnings on DVD/Blue Rays - really who are we kidding here??
I will also be adding a new post to my cabinet, Secretary of Entertainment. I've asked Joe Walsh to fill this position. In a short conversation with Joe I'm very excited about his ideas, most importantly his thoughts on Justin Bieber. My administration will fully support Secretary Walsh's request to revoke Justin Bieber's citizenship and show him the way out. Most likely on a canoe that will be constructed of all of his CDs taped together.
My annual State of the Union address will be made available in Podcast form, and will be held to 20 minutes in length. No need for all of America to pretend to care for any longer than that. You will not hear mindless rammering about my pets, or lack thereof. We all know you don't care, and neither do I. I will not assign my wife a 'Political Job' like making sure all the little kiddos can read, don't get fat, or fixing Health Care.
Stay tuned as my political agenda begins to unfold, and mostly like many great women tell Victoria Secrets...Thanks for your support!!!
